Parents are generous people who sacrifice personal goals and pleasures in
favor of caring for their children. Good parents provide resources that their
children need in a strategic and judicious manner so their children grow into
self-reliant adults with responsibilities, careers and incomes. Parents can
guide their children by feeding them the correct food and by selecting the best
community, the best peer group and the best schools they can identify and
afford. An enlightened society would allocate generous resources to achieving
excellence in the nurturing and education of children above and beyond the care
provided by parents.
Human narcissism begins with birth and infants are relentless in their
demands. They cry and scream when they are dissatisfied and each infant has no
doubt that he or she is the center of the universe. A good parent supports this
innate narcissism to build basic warmth and confidence in the child. As the
child matures, the excellent parent guides him or her toward a more social and
tolerant attitude towards others. The excellent parent does not threaten or hit
a child; conflict is resolved by negotiation, humor and affection. An excellent
parent encourages social interaction with other children but is watchful and
discriminating about the company the child keeps.
The transformation of narcissistic preoccupation of the young child into a
more social and caring older child is critical to the future ability of the
child to live a successful and happy life as an adult. An excellent parent and
good teachers know that error is inevitable and all learning involves mistakes.
There is a common tendency to punish mistakes and ignore successes. A better
strategy is to correct mistakes but not punish and reward good behavior, work
and good outcomes.
An excellent parent overrides the tendency to criticize, blame and punish and
with patience and practice, cultivates the opposite strategy. You have to pay
attention and reward success while quietly noting failures. The excellent parent
thinks in terms of protecting the child from danger and seeks remedial
strategies such as offering more opportunity to practice skills that are not
well-developed and guidance towards more successful strategies of interaction
with the world.
A good guru realizes that he or she cannot change the deep determinants of
karma in a child, but can nourish the good and promising qualities in each
individual and minimize or ignore the less desirable. The opportunity for a
positive parent's role in child development is greatest in the first five years
and diminishes thereafter. Teachers, adult relatives and other children play an
increasing role in child development and peer influence dominates adolescent
development. Good parents, however, continue to play important roles at all
stages of development.
Good parents must be flexible and adaptive because their role and duties keep
changing. Mothers are busy providing all the logistical support their young
children require and express their hopes and aspirations by enrolling their
children in a succession of courses, clubs and sports activities. Emphasis
on these extracurricular activities can penalize both parent and child. Parents
risk becoming underpaid chauffeurs and servants to indulged children who fail to
become friendly and affectionate partners in creating and maintaining a
The accomplishments of children need to be placed in a perspective of what
ultimately makes life enjoyable and fulfilling. Children who are
preoccupied with their own recreation and structured activities may lose the
opportunity to enjoy their own playful creativity and just hanging out with
family and friends. They may not learn to care for themselves and others
in a peaceful, orderly home environment.
Listen to Good Parents
The Helping Children Website was developed by Alpha Education, a division
of Environmed Research Inc. Sechelt, B.C., Canada. Online Since 1995. Experts in
Self-Managed Care. Experts in Elemental Nutrient Formulas. The topics online
were adapted from 2 books, Feeding Children, Children and Family, written by
Stephen Gislason MD.
The Alpha Nutrition Program
is required reading when diet revision is required to solve children's diseases. Alpha Nutrition is a registered
trademark of Environmed Research Inc.
The Book Feeding Children
is a guide for parents when children are not doing well and need diet revision.
Infant feeding and proper nutrition for growing children are discussed. The book
discusses health problems that arise from the wrong food choices. The solution
is found in the Alpha Nutrition Program, a standard method of diet revision.
There are many conditions that improve with diet revision. Each condition is
described in the book. Download eBook
Children, Adolescents and the Family
is a book for parents, teachers and other professionals by Stephen Gislason MD.
The book is available in print form and as an eBook for download (PDF file). 270 Pages.
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