Emotions and Feelings

For Me Ness

Some Topics

Affiliation and Bonding

Every human has a limited ability to form and sustain relationships with other humans. Bonding is the process of forming meaningful and strategic attachments to other humans. While bonding is a natural process, marriage and other rule-based commitments are not. Longer term commitments are contractual. Natural bonds are spontaneous, self-regulating, and are likely to change. The bonding of male and female mates occurs in many species and serves the needs of infant care.

An average “normal” human supports a small number of relationships that have strategic significance in his or her life. These close relationships have different values and represent different investments of time, energy, loyalty and devotion. The deepest bonding occurs when mother and infant are together continuously from birth and mother breast-feeds the infant. Bonds among family members are the most enduring. Bonds to friends, lovers and spouses are the next most significant. Bonds to colleagues, neighbors and even strangers that are admired from a distance are next.

Bonding energies are limited and competition among relationships is inevitable. Emotions and feelings regulate bonding investments. Jealously is a cognitive-emotional complex that monitors and regulates bonding investments.

Hyper-vigilant behavior emerges when bonding tokens are withdrawn. Anger explodes when another human completes successfully for the affection of a spouse or lover. A jealous human guards the sexual privileges, property and prestige that bonding represents.

The romantic ideal is complete devotion and unconditional love. Such a complete investment in one other person is unusual, temporary and unwise because the couple is isolated and loses support from family and friends who were disenfranchised by the romance. A more typical romance is exclusive for a few weeks, but lovers tend to fight and other people regain their importance. The family and friends of lovers recognize the initial withdrawal and later re-investment of bonding energy. A wise friend will know that sooner or later some of the investment will return as the love affair “cools”.

    Emotions and Feelings

  • This book investigates the for-me-ness of experiences, using psychology, neuroscience and philosophy. Everyone has some idea what emotions and feelings are but their exact nature is elusive. We can begin by noting that emotions and feelings are not the same. Generally, humans are ignorant of internal processes and invent all manner of imaginary and irrelevant explanations to explain feelings. The term “emotion” is best used to point to animal and human behavior. There are a small number of primary emotions and variations that involve mixtures of emotional displays feelings and behaviors. Joy, anger, fear and pain are pure emotions. Other, more complex and derivative experiences act as interfaces to emotions. Love, jealousy and hate are not emotions. These are descriptions of complex interactions and evaluations that involve a range of feelings and interface to true emotions some of the time. Euphoria is the benefit of being in love. Sadness and anger are the cost of being in love. Jealousy, like love, is another complex of cognitions, feelings and emotions that exist to monitor and regulate close relationships. The absence of emotional display is highly valued in polite society. Humans have advanced toward civil and productive social environments that are emotionally neutral. Emotional neutrality is a requirement for acceptable behavior in school and work environments.

    Emotions and Feelings is intended for a well-educated smart reader who is interested in Human Nature and the daily experience of humans in groups. The author is Stephen Gislason Both Print editions and eBooks for download are available from Alpha Online

       Download eBook

    Order Persona Books

    Alpha Online downloads eBooks and also ships printed books to the US and Canada. Click download buttons below to order eBook downloads from Alpha Online. Three book are available as printed editions.   Click the book titles to read topics from each book.

    Print Books Read Topics Download
    Human Nature
    The Good Person
    Pieces of the Puzzle
    The Sound of Music
    Surviving Human Nature
    Language and Thinking
    I and Thou
    Emotions, Feelings
    Neuroscience Notes
    Human Brain
    Children & Family
    Intelligence & Learning
    Religion 21st Century

    Persona Digital

    The Psychology, Philosophy, Neuroscience series of books was developed by Persona Digital. The books are copyright and all rights to reproduction by any means are reserved. We encourage readers to quote and paraphrase topics from Emotions and Feelings 2017, published online, and expect proper citations to accompany all derivative writings. The author is Stephen Gislason and the publisher is Persona Digital Books, Sechelt, B.C. Canada.